I started writing this @ 10.18 PM EST @ Harlem.
I am (slightly) high from taking 10mg of edibles ~ or was it 15? I just cried while picking up my laundry from the dryer downstairs, my room is hella clean, but now I have to deal with fresh laundry - I do love the smell, though, but not the folding.
Why did I cry? Maybe because the edibles have kicked in, or maybe because I felt powerfully vulnerable today after I shared with my Meteorite friends about my personal experience of Eros (asteroid) and Saturn (planet) during the Venus in Pisces transit activation ~ I was telling them a love story.
Currently, I am in a Taurus 6th house profection year, Venus is my timelorde. Her astrological condition has been a greater influence on me since my birthday.
Last month on May 14th Jupiter Day, during the Jupiter-Neptune conjunction week, I went to an art museum with a crush, and after a few weeks of processing, I deeply realized ~ that I had somehow fallen in love. It was NOT love at first sight, and I have Venus in Aries - definitely lust at first sight. Regardless ~ I do feel it was love at the first experience of a shared moment? Very much Venus in Pisces essence. For the astrology-hoes, the Venus in Pisces transit was also applying a conjunction to my Mercury in Pisces (L7) - maybe someday I will share the delineation of the transit with my natal position.
[I took a break for munchies, it was a delicious meal!]
The whole experience could be summarized as:
I FELT THE EROTIC AND IT MAKE ME FEEL (MORE) ALIVE!
During our Meteorite sesh today, Sabrina shared this beautiful excerpt, I have always loved, from Audre Lorde’s essay Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power
“The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honour and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves. It is never easy to demand the most from ourselves, from our lives, from our work. To encourage excellence is to go beyond the encouraged mediocrity of our society is to encourage excellence. But giving in to the fear of feeling and working to capacity is a luxury only the unintentional can afford, and the unintentional are those who do not wish to guide their own destinies.”
That bolded part is definitely what my mind, body, and soul felt yall! I felt so much intimacy and the erotic from the museum and the lunchtime we shared. The whole day felt like a drug-induced experience rippling the potential timeline of the future… dangerously exhilarating!
I had to write a poem (multiple poems, actually) to process them all, and I shared the stories with my friends - I even left voice notes for some, I meditated, I prayed, I cried, I tried different activities ~ all of these to contain the vastness of love + experience felt. A foolish task, honestly, for one could never contain the ocean, especially the ocean of love.
I’m sharing one of the poems I wrote with you, the only one I have shared with him recently. Why am I doing this? Because my Venus in Aries returns (conjunct Chiron) decided to be courageous with our wounds. As Rumi said: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you….”
For context, there is a deeper layer to the reference shared in this poem that only my crush could access ~ feels so scorpionic and divine! Also, this boi is a Cancer Sun ~
take care this eclipse week, dear lovers!
xoxo