The Year That Was
Sagittarius & Capricorn: Transmutation Seasons, Traveling Far Abroad - Growing Close Within
We made it here! Congratulations for going through a year like no other – a year of The Emperor major arcana in the Tarot, a year of the Saturn-Pluto and Jupiter-Pluto conjunctions in Capricorn, and ended with The Great Conjunction/Mutation (Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in Aquarius), a year of COVID-19 pandemic, lockdowns and quarantines, face masks and social distancing, a year of heart-breakings and heart-mendings – personally, interpersonally and collectively, a year of deep surrendering to divine timing and honest co-creating with divine intelligence. Unlike previous posts, this piece will cover reflections of the whole year and expectations of the year ahead rather than purely my Sagittarius + Capricorn Seasons summary. I was guided to use Dhiyanah’s prompts for this write-up because collaborating with her more closely in 2020, including her Patreon community, has been one of my proud personal achievement(s). Shall we begin?
1) What opened up for me in 2020?
Opportunities and abundances. The wisdom of numerology stated that I was in personal Year 8 in 2020. It promised abundance, material and otherwise, of whatever we have put our hearts and efforts into. The thing with abundance is that we are often reminded of our readiness to receive it, especially if we doubt ourselves so much which is my recurring tendency. Readiness in the form of our hearts’ intention and integrity. Readiness in the form of putting our courageous self forward to lean on the prospect of the unknown. Readiness in the form of making space for the new realities to knock on our door, so that they are welcomed to stay for as long as they are meant to be. I am eternally grateful for all the abundance manifested for me in 2020. I was accepted to two universities, both with partial scholarship awards. Later in the year, I received another study loan/scholarship to cover the remaining attendance cost. I began to incorporate more magickal practices in my everyday life besides tarot magick – candle magick, crystal magick, astrological magick, talismanic magick. I started my paid tarot reading and reflection offerings, which have grown so much over the year. I had the opportunity of enrolling in the Evolutionary Astrology Intensive with Sabrina Monarch & Tarot For The Wild Soul with Lindsay Mack. I moved in with two of my best friends (Syed & Maha), moved back home later in the year, and during the finals days of 2020 – I moved across countries. For me, moving “homes” signify portals of opportunities for new beginnings. Perhaps the most prominent, scariest, most fulfilling “opening” was coming out as queer to my parents and siblings the days/weeks following my birthday. Although 2020 hurt me so deeply because of that choice and its consequences, it has also brought so much healing to the personal and familial wounds I was carrying. That was my 8th Personal Year.
2) What ended for me in 2020?
Unworthiness. The Saturn-Pluto & Jupiter-Pluto in Capricorn shitshows were transiting through my 2nd House of Finance, Work & Worthiness and they brought revelation in the form of destruction and betrayal to my work-life relationships. There were also relationships outside of work that interrogated my self-perception of worthiness. It was hard going through those experiences, and I really wish to never ever repeat the same patterns and similar cycles again with any relationships. Periodt.
3) What am I walking through as I move into 2021?
A new embodiment of reality and re-creation of possibilities. I am entering my 1st year of Saturn Return in Aquarius in the 3rd House of School, Immediate Environment & Communication. I am walking through the process of deep remembrance of my soul plan and soul journey towards the limitless heart’s possibility.
4) What is guiding my heart as I journey forward?
Radical Joy & Revolutionary Love
5) What have I learned about my truths?
Nine of Pentacles: My truths reside in my experiences - through feeling, moving, thinking, and creating. My truth resides in my independence. My truth resides in my everyday embodiment of it. My truth resides in my intentions and actions. My truth resides in my trust in time. My truth resides in sharing my abundance. My truth resides in learning, unlearning, and relearning. My truth resides in trusting my intuition. My truth resides in me, not others - just me.
6) What have I released and what will I take with me?
Releasing any forms of conditional love, illusions, and projections.
Embracing any forms of divine archetypes within me, unapologetically - no matter how uncomfortable the process of befriending some of them maybe.
7) Do I know what lights up my heart?
Presence & Hope
8) What themes are knocking on your doors for 2021?
The Sun: Shining Bright With Authenticity. New Opportunities To Do So Through Multiple Aspects Of Life I Wish To Show Up For.
Personal Year 9: The Year Of More Sharings & More Closures By Tying Loose Ends. I Am Expecting More Acceptance & Release, More Recognition & Release, More Spiritual Ascension, More Dedication Towards The Collective. Loss Is A Gain Mentality & Magick. A Spiritual Year.
My tarot reading and reflection bookings for February are open if you would like to collaborate with me. Please book my calendar below, use the promo code “NEGARAKU” only if you’re based in Malaysia. My tarot proceeds are used for my graduate student living expenses and savings towards decks, books, courses to elevate my spiritual practices! Would appreciate it if you could share and promote my services with your loved ones, or on any social platforms.
With Radical Rebirth, Still, I Rise
Shahir
20210201 @ 1125 @ Harlem, New York City
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