Verses of Sakinah: Elixir of Tranquility from the Beloved
divine crying as a ritual of healing, as a portal of remembering
Dear Lovers,
I have been breaking down in tears almost daily, to the point where I am ashamed of my own grief, yet equally - I am liberated of my own misery.
I attributed the extreme fear and anxiety to transit Saturn in late degrees of Aquarius for these occurrences in my 3rd House of Familiarity & Daily Ritual, as well as Capricorn Pluto in my 2nd House of Income & Self-Resourcing - both edging at the critical 29 degrees. This grief felt familiar in recent writings - something I have always felt throughout my most recent saturn return life events. Only this time, it feels like a culmination point before its eventual release [once Saturn in Pisces ingress, allegedly].
This Pisces season, I have been floating with the idea of planets moving from their place of domicile to a “lesser” essential dignity as a place of relinquishing power; and how relinquishing our perceived power is a selfless act of liberation, a form of sacrifice. That is how I’ve been intuiting the upcoming Saturn in Pisces ingress from Saturn diurnal abode of Aquarius to the nocturnal abode of Jupiter. Sacrifice is an important theme of Pisces season, and in my New Moon in Pisces applying to mystical fixed star Fomalhaut reel, I was tapping into the topic of selflessness, an act that may feel like we are working “against” ourselves - creating mind-conflict of our inner-selves (Mars in Gemini square), and how it takes a lot of compassion and courage to show up to selflessness, including believing in something more than ourselves. One of the intentional sacrifices I am adopting this Pisces season is a significant exchange rate discount for all Malaysia-based clients, so if you have any of those in your circle of influence, feel free to send them my way for a booking! This offering was partly inspired by my curiosity-learning of Jyotish and deeply realizing that my natal Mercury resides in the Shatabhisha nakshatra, a nakshatra that is deeply immersed in and has a responsibility to respond to cosmic law and calling due to the association with the Hindu deity Varuna.
In early February, I not only moved to another home/neighborhood, but I also ended my graduate student internship/fellowship at Outright, where I really loved contributing. Two major “stable” things in my life - changed! Then, I had a short-yet-much-needed trip to Miami to celebrate my dear pisces friend Julie [There, I cried every day in the shower (or at night) because I could only be there by the grace of Julie and my friends supporting my trip financially].
I was/am in the space of financial restriction and worthiness anxiety of floating-career-searching since late December, and still, parts of my body and mind refused help, or at least I felt ashamed of being helped or judged myself harshly for receiving them.
from recent Instagram post felt timely to quote here:“if you have trouble receiving support, it might be because you have a subconscious pride in having survived without it.”
Yet, receiving support was something I truly needed from others: my humbled heart wanted help, I WANTED HELP - I HAVE BEEN SCREAMING FOR IT SILENTLY TO THE DIVINE & UNIVERSE FOR SOME FORM OF “HELP” TO SELL MY SERVICES, TO SETTLE MY WORK AUTHORIZATION PAPERWORK SWIFTLY, TO GET ON THE NEXT CAREER OPPORTUNITY. Yet, Saturn replied NO, not yet… trust your time, trust OUR time.
Concurrently, I also wanted to be grateful for the Love that was poured, for the Generosity that was shared, for the Blessing that was blended… into my reality - because other folks want me to be happy too! Because our reality is never just about us - it is about the reciprocity of sacrifice to make space for the reality of others that want you to be in their realities too. I remembered Julie’s piscean words: “Oh I want you there, and that’s all how I dreamed of my birthday to be.” With those words, my ego felt humbled, I found a new pathway - that a potential pathway for me to be more receptive to “receiving support” is by actively participating in another person’s dream - and in turn, we were all dreaming, and dancing together - that’s one the best gifts of life. I cannot wait to tell my future grandchildren how my friends and I danced to Cuff It - I wonder what dance challenges exist in the age of their technology. Regardless, I hope they dance, dance, dance.
Change is good, to a certain degree - but we are humans containing multiplicities. Changing homes, routines and rituals are disorienting, especially since the path ahead is uncertain, with nothingness to keep myself busy like in previous timelines. In some ways, it feels like you were painting something precise and beautiful, then you left for a moment to refill your paint water cup, and came back to a new canvas. WTF, I wasn’t finished painting! Yet in truth, the primordial essence of the painting is actually within me [it always has been!] - and the canvas only felt relevant because I gave value to its relevancy.
I am the gifter of value, the origin of my source of ecstacy.
Yesterday morning I woke up at 5AM, my heart anxiously pounded as if I was going to die, I washed my face and meditated - still, it felt forced. Lately, I’ve been having extreme moments of fear and anxiety, and it seems like the only way through was crying and meditating. It feels like another round of spiritual awakening, but in ways I have never been tortured and healed before: the highs and the lows are breaking boundaries of underwordly and heavenly. WTF! The worries I am conscious of are obvious - but there are deeper layers to our fears - always. I was not alone in my suffering.
On Venus day, I wrote and recited a prayer to the Beloved to complement the Ayat of Sakinah, 6 healing verses in the Qur’an, which mentioned the word Sakinah. As a muslim astrologer who collaborates with angels and planetary energy, I felt the deep Venusian revelation through these verses ~ Venus is the planetary power of peace, and the word “Shekhinah” has deep roots in Judaism and Kabbalah.
A prayer I wrote alongside the recital of Sakinah verses:
Calling in connection - dearest Angel Sakinah,
For an Elixir of Tranquility from the Beloved,
A drop from the Ocean of Heavenly Peace,
One of the many Venusian powers,
Through the 6 Verses of Tranquility - blessed numbers of Beauty,
Serenity of our minds, hearts, souls, and bodies.
Here is one of my favorite of the 6 verses:
I have always loved these Sakinah verses to help me through difficult moments in life over the past 4 years. And on Venus day, I finally realized the planetary correspondence of Venus with it. Peace has always been in Venus realm. The word “sakinah” only appeared 6 times in the Qur’an, derived from the root word sukun, meaning “peace” and “serenity.” 6 is a holy number associated with Venus, and the holiest day of Islam is always Friday, Venus day. I felt that I conjured more of this “healing” aspect of Venus since I wrote about her healer role in Aries:
On the same day that noon, I recorded my Aries Venus Embodiment with Imani from
, and later in the day, I had a video call with a queer muslim astrologer, who is a Libra Sun, on an exciting Ramadan project together! It felt like I manifested this collaborative project through a single tweet, and I am humbled by how the Universe responded with an offering of collaboration where I am able to start somewhere ~ alhamdulillah! There was another significant thing that happened yesterday... I will probably save, process, and share it in another post someday.
Have peaceful days filled with abundance and love in all of its iterations!
Your Love Devotee,
Shahir
I felt so emotional reading this, it felt almost like a soft nudge offering guidance on allowing the full range of emotions to be expressed .. so much awe and reverence of the Divine 🌹
you are so beautiful <3