The collective had a certain sense of knowing that the Cancer season will be somewhat important for most (if not all) of us with its heavy-handed eclipses. Eclipses happen many times during a year, however, the recent eclipses mark the end of Cancer-Capricorn eclipses as the lunar nodes have shifted towards the Gemini-Sagittarius axis, bringing different themes and attributes to focus on. This axis shift happens every one and a half years and the transition usually brings about a certain type of beginnings and/or endings to our lives. When I started learning astrology a year ago, I didn’t pay much attention to the transit or natal lunar nodes (North Node in Sagittarius, and correspondingly South Node in Gemini) since they are only explored, and appreciated, in certain branches of astrology such as Vedic Astrology, Evolutionary Astrology and Karmic Astrology. In short, the North Node is often associated with our soul compass, destiny and direction in this lifetime, with this body, on this earth. Whereas the South Node is often associated with something we are more comfortable with accessing, something familiar but not necessarily fulfilling or something we have had experience in previous lifetimes which are brought into this timeline - if you believe in soul reincarnation theory. The natal lunar nodes are meant to guide us through the course of our lifetime, while the transit lunar nodes are meant for our thematic attention through different phases of lives, and not all transits are created equal as they may or may not create aspects with our birth charts. Thus, collectively for the next year, until the next shift in early 2022, most of us are being invited to interrogate and focus our relationship with the Gemini house in our natal charts. For me, Gemini is in the 7th House of Partnerships which is also where the natal South Node is located, I look forward to living through this transit and observe what themes it brings to my life if any.
My fascination with timing/transit techniques through Electional Astrology, where I find and interpret the timing of past and present events, has led to a mind-blowing finding with regards to how the North Node manifested itself during a Cancer season transit last year. This was the evening which transformed my life, the moment where I felt my soul was deeply heard and being witnessed through a psychic Tarot reading session at Rumah Cempaka. It felt fated, though I am still questioning my relationship with the word “fate,” and it was arguably the portal towards my spiritual awakening. Below is the combined transit and natal chart placements:
The orange glyphs are the transit while the blue glyphs are my natal placements. In the middle, the blue lines represent harmonious aspects (conjunction, sextile and trine) and the red lines represent discordant aspects (square and opposition) between the transit and my natal placements. My Aries season reflection explained how Saturn was a particularly important planet for me last two years due to its role as an activated Time Lord through annual profection. Here, we dive into capturing a moment, event astrology, and below is my short analysis of the personal transit chart above:
The 8th House in Cancer heightened activities (aspects) were apparent with the presence of transit Sun, Venus, and North Node, and my natal Mars. The 8th House themes of psychology, death, occult and magick - were obviously explored during the transit as a potential story. For completion, the 8th House is also associated with the theme of other people’s resources: debt, inheritance, tax.
Transit Saturn and South Node were conjunct and made an opposition to my natal Mars, which was conjunct transit North Node. I interpret this powerful aspect as an upheaval from authority, where Saturn in Capricorn informed the need to be released from past repressed emotions, due to the comfort of other people’s view of reality, and move towards my Mars in Cancer where the “spiritual warrior” archetype has to honor their hearts first and foremost. Saturn is also associated with depression and discipline, while Mars is abuse and action. Both malefics were conversing in the skies to establish greater manifestation of physical boundaries (Saturn in Capricorn) and action-oriented self-preservation (Mars in Cancer) with regards to my life direction during that time. As Chani Nicholas wrote in her book, “oppositions act like tugs-of-war in which we are asked to balance opposites, integrate polarity, and come to some deeper understanding of what we project onto the world and what we must be able to reclaim for ourselves.” It is amazing how the transit activation perfectly captured my experience.
Concurrently, my natal North Node in Sagittarius was also conjunct transit Jupiter in the 1st House of Embodiment during this transit - which lends support to the spiritual expansion (Jupiter) of the view of oneself, and the epiphany of self-teaching. Jupiter rules Sagittarius thus the transit is extremely beneficial, especially with the transit Moon loosely conjunct Jupiter as the Moon rules my 8th House. The Jupiterian lightning-bolt moment was undeniably felt as I received deep clarity of the life path I need to start embracing since then.
Other supporting aspects, which I won’t elaborate much, were ~ transit Sagittarius Moon sextiling natal Libra Jupiter (my physical location); transit Leo Mars trining natal Aries Sun with mutual reception, and sextiling natal Gemini Moon (reframing creativity towards divinity); transit Cancer Sun opposition-ing natal Capricorn Uranus-Neptune which conjunct transit Pluto (spotlight on intergenerational trauma); natal Cancer Mars trining transit Pisces Neptune which conjunct natal Lilith (clarity on dreams); transit Cancer Venus trining natal Pisces Mercury (intuitive connection with home issues); and natal Moon squaring transit Pisces Lilith (friction between emotions). All of which played their roles in the story-telling of the skies and me.
Here I am now, more than a year after a pivotal point in my life and though I feel I have grown so much within a year, there are still certain confusions in life path chosen I have to grapple with, including my “spiritual” path.
By end-June, I concluded my Pride Month tarot offering and shared my reflection here. I bow to each of my querents for sharing the spaces of their lives with me, my practice, and my gifts. After that, I took a pause from pulling any Tarot cards for myself and others for more than 10 days as I was guided to do so energetically. During those days, I was nurturing greater relationships with my new and old crystal-friends, and recently connected with my divine merfolk guide, with the assistance of my peach moonstone, during a sacred circle session hosted by Dhiyanah for her patrons. We also performed a Guided EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping) during the circle, and she shared her wonderful material on Youtube below on receiving love. EFT is a new concept I learned from being a patron of Dhiyanah’s creations, and I am looking forward to incorporating the practice into my life. I would highly recommend this for anyone who is dealing with anxieties surrounding Love, give it a soulful try <3
One of the important keywords which surfaced during my Cancer season is: WORTHINESS. Specifically, the worthiness of being on a different path, a path towards self-healing, now that I am embracing and integrating it as part of my being. The question of whether “this is enough, that is enough” when it comes to “spiritual work” can be an endless mental spiral, especially when I could feel myself becoming more sensitive to energies. Imagine waking up one day from a rather “bloody” dream after the eclipse and feeling the nudge to set up a simple crystal grid with the intention of protection. How do I show up for these spaces where I am being asked to do something new and something magical without coming from a place of fear. How do I discern and balance my energetic boundaries without falling into the illusion of hypervigilance or being closed off towards safe spaces/people? How do I know I am not spiritually bypassing by doing this or performing that in my daily life? Oh wait is this a trauma response to a situation or is there something more here? Past lives healing? Inner child healing? Shadow work healing? Wow… the list never ends. Undoubtedly, there were moments I asked myself whether I am “worthy” enough to walk on this path and allow certain uncertainties to flow. Of course, deep within my heart space, I am affirmed by my worthiness 3000, and my capacity to embrace those gifts I have for myself. Yet understanding that the work towards the embodiment of my worthiness isn’t as linear, as fears and doubts projected by the Mind could be as powerful at times. These spiralic moments often reminded me of my gratitude practices and affirmations:
I am not alone in my journey, my divine guides are here, my mentors are here, my friends are here, always accessible for me to reach out, seek help or find comfort in. My self-healing journey is mine and I don’t need to do everything now if I don’t feel called to it. I don’t need to compare my journey with that of others, and I don’t need to rush my way into healing every parts of my being. Time is my friend, not my enemy. I just need to be, to flow, to continue the revolutionary act of self-love and self-empowerment towards my soul-alignment, my best and highest good.
Recently, my favorite word to integrate into my daily practice is ALLOW. Can I allow myself to be more sensitive? Yes! Can I allow myself to flow with my emotions rather than to govern it? Yes! Can I allow myself to be imperfectly ready as I could be while allowing spaces of uncertainties and unknowns? Yes! The beautiful gift of Cancer season is the PERMISSION for the Moon to take more charge of the world rather than the Sun as the Divine luminary since the Sun is in Cancer, and the Moon is their ruler. The Moon teaches us so much of the ebb and flow of our lives within a month, and it is only natural to experience death and rebirth in certain aspects of ourselves constantly. I am reminded of the different phases of the Moon (waxing, full, waning) and their corresponding spiritual archetypes (The Maiden, The Mother, The Crone) ~ and how equally potent each phase is for specific reasons and intentions. No matter what phases of life we are in, we have everything we need within our capacities to live through each moment with much self-compassion, self-worth, self-awareness.
I ALLOW MYSELF TO FLOW WITH HEART-LED SPIRITUALITY
With Radical Rebirth, Still, I Rise
Shahir
20200724 @ 2102
In the previous post, I wrote about my experience with shadow work and the story-telling surrounding my Shadow during the Gemini season.